I have a dream, to one day wake up next to a girl, walk to the washroom and kick her kids toys out of the way. That day has come, yes we can.
whoever created level 16 on brickbreaker is a dick
She got her phone back last night. And the first thing I sent her was a picture of me pooping in a culvers bathroom
I was. I was trying to blow bubbles in the toilet after I threw up in it. They had to carry me everywhere. I lost a sock.
i have wind burn on my face from my head hanging out the window of the cab vomitting
we didnt even make it to the club...the two of us were sharing a plastc bag in the taxi puking into it.
Three things I need a picture of: your friend, your bong, and your dick.
I have to stop drunkenly making out with guys just because they're tall or have a beard.
No really tho I'm wearing a chucky cheese shirt and yoga pants. If that doesn't scream no sex idk what does
Its Nebraska, I'm sure im not the first person to wake up hungover in a corn field.
In his defense he just bought a bong like a week ago so he's still in that honeymoon phase.
I dreampt that we were shooting zombies while we having sex. Is that normal?
I feel like I've asked you "are you okay?" one too many times in the last 48 hours. You're hopeless.
It's 3 am and I'm buying cat food and batteries for my vibrator. Good thing I shaved my legs for this.
No, next time he offers you a ride home, ask him about Batman. The result will always be road head.
Randomize
