I'm pretty hammered, I'll elaborate tomorrow
you alive?
ya, the episode of maury where people are afraid of things are on, i had to keep livin
he was walking around the bar drinking wild turkey and gobbling simultaneously
you told him you liked to chip your nail polish to look like different countries. im gonna guess that no, you didn't sleep with him.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I know you're trying to keep the moaning to a minimum but the banging on the wall is totally giving you away
He's more than prepared to help us move. Dude brought sunscreen, cans of Coke, and Captain Morgan.
I hope my shame shaped pee stain outside your door goes away soon.
I may or may not have traded your body to the rodeo's owner for free beer.
A "Tom-vomit" is when you puke but cough as it comes up, so you close you mouth as a natural reaction and the vomit is jet-propelled out your noise.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I feel so much better about my break up knowing that he's having his 26th birthday at Rollar kingdom\n
i can't invite random hot hobos into my aunt's house.
See? I told you no boy in roller skates could be entirely straight.
i may or may not have triedto pee like a boy and then dipped cheese ino the olive oil
I really don’t want to have kids.
I thought we agreed we were done with dirty talk for the day
Just bought plan b at 8am. Then the cashier asked if I wanted to donate to the children's miracle network. Fml
Randomize