butt plug
anus plug
rubbish cock?
yes
you suck at this game today
Dude, I woke up in the middle of the night and your room mate was just standing there at the foot of the bed, watching us sleep.. you don't remember me shaking the shit out of you to tell you this?!
This could explain the reason why I've been finding his clothing and keys scattered in random parts of my room..
AND THIS DOESN'T WORRY YOU?!
just watched an entire episode so you think you can dance for head. so wasn't worth it
On a side note, I now know what a $150 cab ride looks like
I had a dream she was puking on me, but sadly in real life she was puking on me too
I don't think there was a moment this weekend where grey goose did not course through my veins
I find it worrying that she bit me in bed. Then proceeded to write her name in bite marks. All without ever losing the rhythm of our fucking.
U know that drunk state, where at 930 the next morning your sitting in a bath in ur bathing suit trying to sober up...yeah. That's where i am..
I'm not drinking anymore...and by that, I mean until St. Patrick's Day.
As he walked by me and gave me his dreamy smile full of dimples all i could think was 'I gave you chlamydia'.
he's dressing as a chick for halloween. of course i'm gonna make him get his legs professionally waxed. how is this even a question?
I'm eating a subway sandwich in the bathtub because I don't want to move. God bless boys from Brooklyn
I think if I send him enough nudes, he will buy my plane ticket.
Never going back to jail again. Only time in my life I've ever had a wet dream about jerking it...
You can help me! We'll make an occasion of it. Have some rum, make some smores, condemn the email system to the pits of hell...
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