remember them days when you seriously wanted your mom to marry rev run and we would always talk shit about justine?
joeyyyy why you always taken cheeseburgers from me?!?!?!
Sometimes I forget to take my socks off when I masturbate. This always makes me feel like I'm accidentally in a porn.
Men with bald spots should not have mohawks. Just in case you didn't know.
My doc was like ur only supposed to have 6 sexual partners..thats just one semester at college
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
If a young child walked up to you and grabbed your penis, you'd feel violated too.
I have been way too involved with your nipples this weekend
Pretty sure that I got the MVP of wedding reception... woke up on the bench in the hallway of a hotel and we did NOT start the night there.
After giving a back rub to someone in the bathroom of the theater, he ripped an "employees must wash hands" sign off the wall to prove that he could and proceeded to hang it up in his house.
Take off that red sweater and wear my vagina as a facemask.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Nothing like playing hide and seek with a state patrol officer early in the morning to get your heart rate up.
I don't understand why your family and sex lives should EVER overlap.
Today wasn't Sunday Funday, it was more like Sunday god is taking a shit on my life day
It's George Washington's Birthday. Can you not put on some red white and blue and get really drunk for the original Merican??
I asked him to tell me a bedtime story, then threw up on him.
We kept having to tell you that you couldn't just sit wherever you wanted at Walmart. Sitting in the middle of the raw meat section was unacceptable and children were staring at you.
Randomize