Just discovered Kim Possible porn. Life is now complete.
I'm customer of the month for a 3rd time now at the Wine store. I've achieved so much in my life
Two things. 1 - I want to apologize for my drunkeness last night. 2 - I want to pre-apologize for my anticipated drunkeness tonight.
Apparently suggesting that she was the kind of girl who might be expected to kill someone's pets hurt her feelings...
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I don't even want to think about the kind of person who would shit in the street before 10pm on a Sunday.
So I love how we keep introducing our friends to sex toys. It's like pay it forward vibrator edition.
Found a girl that was gonna make out with 25 people for her 25th birthday. I was like #12. Made top half!
Almost caused a huge accident on the highway because I was distracted by how orange the road barrels were
I woke up and discovered I gave new meaning to the term "pizza pockets" yes it's exactly like it sounds like
we should definitely drink gin again. soon.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
In Punta Cana for my bachelor trip, hopefully tomorrow my passport is blacklisted
We shared a dick. We're practically sisters!
I used to sleep with a guy on the USA rugby team... He stole my credit card and my Hitman DVD. I'm more upset about the Hitman DVD..
Plus you get to call him out on being a dick. It's more satisfying than ever sex I've ever had.
Let's take a shot for every time we've said "I don't want to get that drunk tonight"
Had sex on your trumpet just an fyi.
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