I really love her but I don't think I can go the rest of my life without anal.
So my prents justed posted "DO NOT DISTURB" on facebook and i just heard their door shut and lock...I'm leaving
There comes a time in every girls life when she must use her boobs for good instead of evil.
Your pregnant arnt you
so you told her it was a 'nam scar? i mean, how old does she think you are.
Sorry for trying to force you and Robert to make out. I didn't realize how awkward it was until I woke up today.
I think "I actually like giving blow jobs better" qualifies her as a keeper
It went alright, nothing too special, just got threatened with a knife by our server.
Please put me in a whole with no windows and never let me out.
Dude, double fisting packs of Ramen saved my life last night
Would be in best interest to sanitize the DVDs
I truly just stopped puking in my 730 am calculus class, looked up, corrected my professor, then resumed puking my eyes out. He was both impressed and disgusted.
My flask has coffee in it for finals week.. So that's responsible right?
Well you fished my watch out of a possibly vomit filled toilet so I think we're bros now.
If me saying "come f***k me now" is talking, then yes.
My saturday night consisted of sewing my Halloween costume and watching Blues Clues
You actually...sewed your costume?
Randomize
