Thats how high i was. The fact that he looked like Seth Rogan was apparently a good thing.
I just texted him to come over because I want to see if his hand fits the handprint bruise on my ass.....I feel like the cinderella of S&M
I saw Winona at my church today. She has boobs, now.
Miracles do happen.
aparently i pased my english final. I don't even remember taking it.
I'm the only kid serving jury duty. And I'm the only one who may walk out of here in handcuffs for a warrant. I'm enabling these people to doubt America's youth once again.
Well, there are worse ways to make $50 at a gay club.
Why not. Its my b-day, you're in town, I'm in town, bars are in town, and alcohol is in town. I don't see anything not good about those things.
I just saw that blonde chick you wanna bang rolling down the hall wearing a Thor mask..
Wow. We're meant to be..
Remember that girl that we found passed out in the dorm study room under a pile of money and jimmy johns wrappers? She's standing right on front of me.
Wait do we still get bagels if no one got laid
I know it doesn't seem right, but sometimes, bagels are just flat out called for.
Haha ohman remember when I peed in your blender? Gotta love college.
YOU DID WHAT???
I didn't know that all of his brothers would be hot and musical too. That's a dick move on behalf of biology.
WHY HAVE SO MANY THING GONE IN MY BUTT ON THIS TRIP
WHY IS SHE PANDERING YOU, A SIMPLE GOBLIN, TINY WEENER PICTURES OVER STATE LINES
idk what happened last night but i just wokeup with nothing on but a necklace...what is this, the fucking titanic?
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