He must hate going to the bathroom. Every time he does he is reminded how small his dick is.
Rode a jet ski for the first time three days after I lost my virginity. Hell of a week for my vagina.
MTV Made just made me cry. Where have all of my life goals gone?
Its not christmas eve unless I give him head. I wont take no for an answer
She stole my hamster. idk who she was, she just walked in and said she knew Keith so she stayed, drank 6 beers, and then stole Charles.
I'm naked in the window of the hotel and I feel like I'm walking in slow motion like a robot
they're both probably 7 inches? or 8? I'm shoving a ruler in my mouth trying to figure it out
Mother fucker, I knew it was bad when you tried making out with my car window
I just picked up a hitchhiker so karma will be on our side this weekend. Hahahahahaha
No.
I just threw up birthday cake.. who's birthday was it?
there was a keg and pinata at my uncles funeral, and a bunch of scary looking biker dudes showed up to pay their respects. i need to strive to be more like him.
Never do acid then ask for a blow job while watching 28 Days Later. Heed my advice.
Definitely went down on him last night while he was wearing a cape. He randomly kept swirling it around me and "revealing me" in the mirror like a magic trick. I'm not even a little upset, it's fun fucking younger guys.
Haha I wasn't coming anyway. I'm watching Snow White and don't want to put pants back on. Those are completely unrelated. Have a good night.
I am become drunk, destroyer of all worlds
Randomize
