It'd be like medium rare by now.
I love how we're talking about your vagina like it's a piece of meat.
We have to use a contraceptive. God help the world if another one of us comes into fruition.
Recycling my beer bottles from breakfast counts for earth day, right?
Try not to get arrested for it, but otherwise i support you
He's CUTE. and foreign
Bro... You handed me an ice cube from your drink and said "tell me if it tastes like pickles".
I just power smoked 3 bongs, ate hot cocoa mix before making hot cocoa, and realized James Spader's character on The Office reminds me of your mom.
It's that moment where you find out the girl you've been dating for 6 months is a mob daughter. Post breakup.
I'm gonna call it the Reunion Tour. Hooked up with two different ex girlfriends in one day...
Even dream me is a champ at smoking weed
He is so sweet! He thanks me for sending him dirty pix. I should keep him.
I don't want to be Eskimo brothers with your dad
Alas my dad DD'd me. Legit cock blocked to the highest degree
You can't break up with me. I brought you to see Beyoncé.
Because cocaine and lesbian hookups on a Tuesday cannot be the new normal
Apparently 'ewww' is not the correct response to him saying he has to go to a funeral while I'm there.
Randomize
