Who did Billy Mays play for?
she must wash her vagina with a dirtier vagina
not sure what i find more disconcerting, your text or the fact that i recognized that as a dane cook quote
Still at the library. i hate tax accounting so much that i've started calling it potions...
he said he "kind of had sex before.. Barely" i think it was one of those situations where you slide into home and get tagged out.
i'm using my hot pot to make jello shots in a muffin tin. i'm never ever graduating.
I keep forgetting that I only have two nostrils.
There are 3 guys sitting in the elevator in lawn chairs wearing sunglasses and holding beers. the hallway rugs are stuffed in a trash can. i've never been so glad to be sober.
she was masturbating to a video of herself masturbaing. She's a keeper
The money is just too good to quit doing it. I'm using the same justification strippers use.
I was looking at your puke while I was peeing in it the next morning and that ceasar salad did not treat you well
I am far too hungover to deal with the fact I can hear you masturbating in the bathroom.
You kept mumbling that you could become one with the carpet as you proceeded to give yourself the worst carpet burn I have ever seen
I would rather suck a dick or two than go there
I DONT WANT YOUR DICK. I WANT BRUNCH.
you smell like vanilla and daddy issues
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