let's bang
You're in my phone as 'Weird Bus Guy' so I think my answer's no.
Midget Michael Jackson impersonator dancing to Beat it in Penn Station almost caused me to miss my train. God, I
I just spread your mom's ashes with my new girlfriend. I wouldve waited for you to fly home but she was uncomfortable in the house with her remains there. I'll mail you the urn since u handpainted it.
YOU HAVE A GIRLFRIEND ALREADY!?! WTF WE JUST HAD HER FUNERAL 3 WEEKS AGO!!!!!!!!!!!!
it was really awkward, he kept trying to get on the bed with us and we kept having to kick him back on the floor.
you know that dress I got margarita and puke on? yeah, just returned it.
Do you think flip cup during wine tasting is a bad idea? They're perfect flipping cups...
You have no idea how much I'm praying for my moms side of the family's infertility right now
Blacked out at the beach and unblacked out at a piano bar singing Tiny Dancer.
woke up this morning with a big mac and chips on a plate, coke in a glass and a knife and fork AND NAPKIN waiting for me in front of my computer. PORN WAS ALREADY PLAYING. I LOVE DRUNK ME
To celebrate your birthday last night, I got drunk and sang drift away in buffalo wild wings. Happy birthday. The entire bar sang the chorus with me. It was magical.
One thing noone tells you about getting put in the drunk tank is do it barefoot. You get free flipflops.
just like cleaning my room and being more organized in my life. more so just making sure a toaster doesn't end up in my car again for 2 months
I know I've never told you this before.. but Gyro sauce makes everything okay.
I witness him finger a girl behind the dj decks yet I'm still going to meet up with him. Wtf is my life
The night took a wrong turn after I found you smoking a blunt with a midget behind the bar...
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