It was so romantic--he turned me around to face the sunset during doggy-style over the couch back.
I have new birth control, three bottles of jack, and some coupons for micky d's. You wanna have that sleepover?
What's the protocol on showing a video of me sucking the life out of my ex in order to prove beyond a doubt that I give great head???
All i have left of him are the magnum X-Large condoms he left in my room, knowing full well that no other guy I hook up with will be able to fill his shoes. He taunts me.
I just sent you a google doc listing all the reasons why I should stop hooking up with him. Feel free to add to it.
Ok cuz s'mores night just turned into pina colada after noon and it will be mas fun
So I think my aunt and her one legged boyfriend are getting it on in the next room. Traumatized does not even begin to describe what I am right now
You me handle of captain and a sorostitute study sesh, if we don't get laid mancards must be relinquished
Lets start a coed nudist frat/sorority. It would be amazing. Or just an orgy club. It would also be amazing
Well, it's a fine line between people-watching and boob-staring. It's a gray area. But we're in Paris. Let's leave it at that.
I need thought I would ever have to use the phrase "Don't fart on that Calzone".. Thanks for that
I'm disease and pregnancy free. This is an Easter for the books!
I just made some sangria and taking a roadie on my stroller walk around the hood! Parenting at its finest
Apparently I have decided there are no repercussions for my actions
my morning attempts to try to have sex with him was interrupted by the passion of the christ parade going on outside my house
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