I wish everyone walked around campus with a video of what they did this weekend above their heads.
this isnt the person you just texted but i have her phone. she disappeared when the bacon came home and she hasn't returned since.
There's a difference between southern and inbred. She just doesn't know that yet.
Between my vibrator and my iPhone carpal tunnel is inevitable.
I've never heard of anyone celebrating the holidays with a fuck buddies family before.
....I'll be expecting my trophy when I return.
I figure hes like disneyworld. You know youre only going once or twice in life. Might as well have fun and ride the rides
Want to come over and rub aloe on my tits?
You called a girl at 4:30am to tell her "your pussy is my top priority" while simultaneously Urban Spooning late night cafes.
I would have dumped her already but between the 4 hr bjs and our shared love of enjoying thirsty Thursday naked while watching basketball I'd say its the best shot at love ill ever have
He said he could outsmoke me so I challenged him to a weed duel. I don't always very competitive but when I do...
She ordered an O'douls. That was the end of that date
I feel like it should at least be like a "hey look I'm actually fine that I drunkenly gave you my virginity!" friend request.
They already have a joint checking account. She's got his balls in her purse! What's next, a shared Facebook account?
Dude, you ever snap awake on the toilet at work with that panicked, "How long have I been here?!" feeling??
What happened last night?
Lets just say you asked me a couple times if you had eyeballs..
Randomize
