Should I tell Kevin that my finger was in his sister's ass last night?
At least with the last gf I made it clear that I wanted to breakup when I pissed on her floor @ 3am as her roommate watched in contempt
i cant be the least bit upset about his new gf cause all i think is that she has to put things in his ass
I spent my night drunkenly staring at a picture of John Stamos. How do you think I feel?
Its so hard looking at my mom and pretending I'm not dying a slow death of binge drinking
i'm going to look back at this as the time of my life when i casually dated that autistic guy
she showed up with nothing but olive garden breadsticks in her purse.
When she was dating that guy she told me If they broke up, I would receive a call and no matter what I was doing I'd have to go over a fuck her. It's like being an EMT for sex.
I only made out with him because he cured my hiccups
Leaving the phone at home last night was the best decision I ever made.... Though I still managed to text her and now I have 2 phones...
We all make mistakes. Just lock them up deep down inside your mind so they can surface as weird sexual fantasies it takes your therapist years to decipher when your 40
She told me to pick her up in the corner of shame and self-disgust.
I'm scared to touch anything in this apartment. Even the ceiling.
She was blowing me like a porn star and all I could think was "you just told me your grandfather is dying in hospice right now"
sarahs drunk and is drawing dinosaurs all over the apartment. should i stop her?
whats she drawing them with?
eyeliner
no that's ok
Randomize
