He had on juicy sweatpants and thats when i knew he was no longer a threat.
what age do we have to be before we can stop fucking guys on the first date?
the way she shouted out instructions during sex made me feel like I was having sex with my gym teacher
So my graduate coordinator is possible gay man. I may have just found the easiest way to a degree ever.
Good plan b, put your number on all your forms. Hello gamefull employment.
Take that integrity
So i guess i slapped the girl sitting next to me leg and said "You know what they say, got fat legs...you gotta fat BOX"
my purse only fit my wallet or the martini shaker. it wasnt even a question of which i was bringing.
almost getting arrested is turning into fucking this cop in his ex wife's lawn. see you tomorrow
I guess I made wings because there's chicken everywhere. Even on the walls. 3 of them. It's like a chicken grave yard.
I'm not sure if it was the 11 shots or your naturally vibrant personality but I recall you being quite noisy that evening
Straight guys just can't stay away. My penis must have pheromones or something.
I attempted to stand up and was quickly reminded by gravity that I am the universe's bitch right now
I only had sex with him so I could try to steal his roommate's cat, what kind of girl do you think I am?
we went to go get waffles and then i sucked his dick in a parking lot. average tuesday.
carb up bitch. we're drinking with football players.
this old people party is bangin. they have apple cider with everclear in it
Randomize
