I'm just sayin u wanted to sleep after ur paper. I can make u sleep
Sarah, plain, and tall I adore you
Nice meating you last night
Not a typo
It makes me feel uncomfortable and unsafe when he licks my pants
Talking her gay man friend into dancing with me officially makes me the world's best wingman. ever.
His dick was as big as my arm. Giving him a handjob was like giving someone an Indian sunburn.
my cup is half full, half full of rum.
like the only thing i remember is bringing a piece of toast to the bar...
I just banged your sister. Thats what you get for takibg my lunch money in 2 grade, boom, boom fiyyaa powaa
I'm sorry and I love you. One day we're going to live in a whore mansion with our babies and make boys cry.
door buzzer is fixed. took shots with Latvian electrician to celebrate. nice guy. he is gonna bring mixers next time cuz kombucha didn't really cut it for him.
What the hell do I have to give up to manifest a dick
I still think it's strange your mom saw me 93% naked with a Santa hat on and a raging boner. Tis the season right?
WHERE THE FUCK IS MY ARM DO YOU HAVE ANY IDEA HOW DIFFICULT IS IS TO TYPE WITH ONE HAND
The true debate: do I prioritize going to bed and getting more than six hours of sleep or do I prioritize washing out various grease, leaf bits, and jizz out of my hair
Randomize
