Nipple clamps can be ambiguous
I don't even know what he looks like, all i've seen of him is his dick
the rest of him looks just as crooked
My vagina is so ashamed right now. It won't even look at me.
adderall flavored popcorn. yes we did it and its awesome
I think I'm getting too used to throwing up in the reception trash can. It doesn't even phase me anymore
Come to me. Jacob is confessing his love and all I want is a hot dog. With chili. Not love.
i just found this napkin with your number on it in my jacket pocket. it reads amy, drawing of a wine bottle and a house
Accidentally peeing a little on the couch in the middle of a sneeze is way different from railing a random on our waffle counter. I am the better roommate.
I only know two things that kitchen floors are good for... sex and quesadillas that got dropped. You know, the five second rule
Please rescue me. but take your time, im getting pizza
I used to put Bugles on my penis and pretend it was a wizard.
Bitch are you kidding? 2016 is gonna be the year our pussies run for president
oh you can't commit, don't have any real ambitions, and love to drink PBR? well.... sign me up!
only you would understand that I was talking from the perspective of my boobs
I just texted my mom from a strip club.
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