I am going to fall madly in love with a ginger, marry the ginger and have lil ginger children running all around town. Oy
You shut your mouth
We're pre-gaming then going to chuck e cheese's.
If you're joking I'm going to be sad
Ya know, in a round about way coinstar is just a glorified vending machine for all my bad choices.
Have you ever wondered what your stripper song would be?
We fed your dog hot wings then gave it some Bud light to drink. You're right. Dogs are fun.
I am at the point where deciding not to drink alone is worth a rocky music montage in and of itself.
Yikes. I usually have a 24-hour waiting period between sex partners. You know, like for a handgun.
And you were like "stop making pop tarts, lil bowow" as you grabbed the pop tarts from your ex and consumed them. Teach me your ways.
Monday is now my bitch. I just did 20 naked push ups on the bar for $20
If there was a tv show called "True Life: My 58 Year Old Dad Rolls Better J's Than Me" I'd be on it.
Being single/not living at home sucks. All I want is someone I can force to pick up my pizza for me so I don't have to talk to anyone.
it was also funny because at one point I woke up with my hands tied with a belt and we were both like what the fuck
I don't want to resort to having sex with people that actually like me.
excused from jury duty. THAT hungover...
I am drunkenly riding a razor scooter up and down the hills of Cincinnati
What in the fuck are you doing with your life
Randomize
