nosebleed girl is getting lots of praise
She helped me organize my comics and then blew me. This is the one.
So I was about the only one NOT pregaming or stoned at my aunt's funeral... Maybe thats why I'm the black sheep.
Dude, sorry for live texting you my binge drinking. If you'd like me to do the same for my hangover, I can share that I just had to sit down while q-tipping my ears.
Things I learned last night: 1. Bacardi 151 is a one-way ticket to the toilet, 2. It is possible for a human being to turn into Mount Vesuvius
Would it be out of line to take a picture of all the earrings, rings, hairclips, and other miscellaneous girl items that I found under my bed and post it on facebook and tag all the girls that I slept with this year so they can claim their shit and get it out of my house?
That's the kind of activity you can only get away with by wearing a lion codpiece
I puked and rallied in front of a cop...and then waved at him....
We did it in the bar bathroom and the bathroom attendant sold us a condom. I love Nashville
Idk I'm drinking Sam Adams and wearing new balances so I'm basically a dad
I'm like a freaking volcano of life and sexual frustrations
I'm trying to get weird tonight. Like I want to see bitches crawling on all fours drinking milk from bowls and shit by 5 am. You down?
Her new crush is a 6'2" guacamole baron that may also be a Jedi.
Just used the word fistfucking in a serious conversation with my professor in front of the class, while making an appropriate and valid point. Win.
My sister can't give you a handjob and us still be bros.
Randomize
