I just saw the dad from "Little People Big World" at the airport. I chased him down and congratulated him for beating the DUI.
I think I'm maturing; i was gonna watch porn and then take a nap but i motivated myself to put my laundry in first.
Anywhere you can eat green eggs and ham, you can have sex.
Is it bad to use cherry nyquil as substitute for grenadine? Because i just went there.
Nah, totally cool. It already has the alcohol in it.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Look dude, you cant keep blaming everything on the new years party. Its february...
its the kind of pain that only someone with a fucking elephant on their head would understand. I'm never drinking again.
I would have been very attracted to her had she not been reading me my Miranda Rights
Uhm after 8 I don't recall anything. All I know is there's a picture of me playing pong with my grandmother.
Give me a second. I'm doing my best but I'm drunk so for some reason fitting both my boobs in the pic is just incredibly difficult. They aren't THAT big. I'm just being retarded.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
We almost got stabbed in the nuts last night. Don't worry, we're alright.
I described my life as a 7 layer cake of death
taking shots alone in my kitchen before I go learn to give a lapdance. when did this become my life?
HE’S PUKING UP BLOOD
okay all good I mistook strawberita for blood...
My roommate made maccoroni last nigh dropped the bowl off the counter knocking it into the dog bowl he picked up the dog bowl and started eating it claiming it was te worst Mac and cheese ever and if he wasnt so high he would stop eating it hahahaha
She was blowing air into green onions and tying knots in them to make "balloons"
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