I was too high to figure out which of the three doors would lead me to my classroom, so i sat down in the middle of the hallway and ate a twinkie.
Guess who's still drunk but on time to court to represent a DUI?
You are my hero
im getting my college education on yahoo answers.
I booked us a cruise for November. Lose 20 pounds and don't cheat on me before then.
A guy wearing a hard hat while floating the river. It's the most responsible drinking we saw all day.
Is there really anything more beautiful than opening a fresh box of wine on a Friday afternoon?
I made my own utility belt like Batman. It has a cup holder for my beer, cell phone holder, a little pocket for condoms, and a sewing kit just in case.
Just applied for assistance with paying my hospital bill from my alcohol poisoning at age 16 while still a little drunk from last night. What is my life.
Circle of life?
I had an epiphany. If a dude dressed up as Batman to ask me out, I'd prolly marry him.
My hands are stained pink. I look like I fisted a muppet.
When I go out tonight I need to make sure to be really good. The Easter bunny doesn't deliver to jail
if my uterus stops caving in on itself long enough for me to be alive I'm there
We shared a dick. We're practically sisters!
Tempted to tell the Titos promoters at this bar that they are doing the lords work.
PANTIES FOUND
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