So after your 27th or so beer, you gave me songs you want to have used if you're ever on intervention.
i'm too stoned to be pregnant. the kicking is morse code for wanting beef jerky.
He woke up, got my bottle of water and poured it on me and then went back to sleep. Not really how I want to wake up at 2 a.m.
Prepare for tons of dick. I mean dick by the bucket loads. Waterfalls if cock.
He was the one that got away. From my vagina.
And to add, there was a fat guy right next to me who, when the girls would shake their butts, he would let out a shrill xena warrior princess cheer
We got way too high so we're sitting in the parking lot of the movies trying to figure out what bar to go to
Sex on acid. Try it. I thought we were fucking in outer space with fireworks inside a rocketship car. Best.
Do you think casino weekend will remind us once again that we in fact are not mature enough to be this old?
I'm not gonna lie. I'm a little scared.
Good. The Jell-O shots look great.
Netflix, eggnog, and bed? Maybe some hand stuff?
You're a mystery wrapped in an enigma wrapped in a redhead
Its 7am I'm awake still drunk, there is food, random clothing and road cone in my room. I can't decide if this is a failure or a success???
Apparently his version of saying "I'm Sorry" is streaking around our apartment building then asking for a blow job.....
Maybe for you. You don't have to clean the melted butter off the stove. I LOST THE SPECIAL SEASONINGS.
Randomize
