Phosphoglyceraldehydration... why the fuck is this a word
Drunk, high, and in a taco costume. Wish you were here.
He gave me the "I've pictured you while jerkin off" look
You are beautiful! I got thrown out of a bar tonight for throwing my shoe. It was at my sister, I don't know why they were mad. I know her.
After all the hair products he's stolen from me, he better fucking be gay.
Our Icelandic basketball player brought cocaine and rachael is screaming that he should do lines off her stomach. It's that kind of party
OH MY GOD DO YOU REMEMBER WISHBONE? DO YOU REMEMBER THAT LITTLE BITCH? WHAT'S THE STORY WISHBONE
Well he can play the xylophone with his erect cock... So he's got that going for him
You made her yell her own name while you were fucking so that you would remember it in the morning.
I don't know if you've ever seen a group of 20 year olds reenact a rectal prolapse, but 'majestic' isn't really the word I'd use...
I just drove by a stop sign that had a used maxi pad stuck to it WHAT THE FUCK
Fuck these bullshit days. My underwear are still inside out.
I don't care how many things you caught on fire, it's still not as bad as doing coke and then filming yourself having sex.
I got drunk and bought a house last night. Also, I threw up on Mike's lawn. I'm pretty excited about one of those two things.
Put on my pants to go to work and discovered they had melted.
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