I just farted in the dogs face to show him who's boss
That's the great thing about NY, if you pee your dress you have an entire cab ride to air dry your panties before the next club.
I was doing the dishes wondering what was with all the tiny little cups, but then I remembered that some people drink things other than huge mixed drinks and big cups of water the next day.
Apparently we had sex last night, and then I made him drive me to the beach so I could puke in the ocean.
we literally hit three floors of our apartment building searching for condoms. also got macaroni.
No one knows who he is but he hasn't missed a shot in beer pong yet. He's dressed as lance armstrong and is tearing shit up.
Who would we be if we didn't go out to drink during finals week? NOBODY
I am self-sufficient. I puked in a wine glass and emptied it in the trash. Points for style and neatness
He just asked me if I'd be interested in couples therapy. Fuck my life.
Remember camping when you drank 36 beers to yourself in one day and puked in your tent? Ready for round 2?
I'm not saying I haven't been that drunk. I'm just saying I haven't been that drunk and then have cops buy me shots.
This is the beginning of the end. Testicle Tuesdays and free ball Friday are going to scar people for life
Dude that picute of your balls will haunt my nightmares
I HAVENT SEEN A PENIS IN 5 WEEKS I REFUSE TO REMAIN CALM
IT'S A GIANT FUCKING ROBOT, DUDE. LOGIC IS OUT OF THE QUESTION BECAUSE AWESOME.
Lol it's kinda hilarious. I left missing one glass... guage. I feel like Cinderella... but less classy.
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