Just got yelled at by a priest...again.
I'm watching a show called "I didn't know I was pregnant" on TLC...Apparently this happens enough that there is a series
sorry about calling you the devil all night.
3 inches of snow, below zero windchill and i just saw a dude in a wrangler with no doors, shorts a beanie and burton snow goggles. God i love college in colorado
My STD test came back clean. I'd like to thank all the guys I've slept with, they made this possible. I want to say thanks to all my friends, for believing in me living up to the full slut potential. And last but not least, I'd like to thank alcohol. I wouldn't be who I am today w/out you. I feel like I need to frame this...
Don't ever tell me I'm a bad friend. I woke up at 7 this morning to drive your mistake home because you wouldn't get up.
Fuck. I'm going to pass the savings right on to the strippers. It's trickle down economics.
i think i swapped my keys for drugs last night
We built a fire and had sex in the kiddie pool. Then he washed my hair
Strong work
That awkward moment when the dude you blew on camera in college friend requests you on Facebook.
Who is this?!????
That awkward moment when you think you're texting a friend the above statement, but instead you text a stranger.
I did wake up to a random meat and cheese plate next to my bed, that was a thrill.
For not being a nurse or a sex worker I have seen an alarming amount of penises.
I would just like to say that I had morning sex today to the Hamilton soundtrack. So.
It was great. Somehow, sleeping with her sister cured everything!
For the love of god, if any of you are up, bring me pants.
Randomize
