people should stop making movies, we'll never top bio-dome.
I literally made his dick bleed. How the fuck do you think it went?
she asked me what the final straw was. i had to tell her i caught him jerking off to digimon porn. i don't know what i'm more upset by, that he was masturbating to cartoons, or that he was masturbating to sub-par cartoons
I just saw him at the bookstore and all I could think about was him licking your ass
Just watched porn on a 60 inch plasma screen TV... So that's where the clitoris is
don't pay it forward
I eont pay shit forward. told a stranger to call an abulance and peaced
I just want to fuck you then discuss implications of our existence afterwards. Then Doritos and hot tub.
My mom just looked at me while watching the fireworks and asked if it reminded me of how I felt after sex. I'm so uncomfortable.
The two girls sitting next to me are asking siri "Like, uh, how do you know my name?". Do I fuck with them or fuck them?
I HAVE NEVER BEEN FRIENDZONED IN MY LIFE AND THIS GIRL IS GOING TO MAKE ME QUESTION EVERYTHING. LIKE A GODDAMN CUNT. A WONDERFUL, BEAUTIFUL, MAJESTIC, LESBIAN CUNT.
No it was fine, I've just never seen that many people eat dog food
I don't want to jinx anything but I may have found the one.
Cat or human?
Human
I just want an early 40-something dude who is vaguely unencumbered, professionally driven and wants to put me in a ball gag.
You’ll lick BBQ off my cock but no ketchup on a hotdog?
I honestly have no desire to wear clothes around you
I have that affect on people
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