Writing a book: The Evolution of the Douche Bag: From Popped Collars to Ed Hardy Shirts. Doing research now.
Make sure you include chapters on white sunglasses, spray tans, and toxic amounts of hair gel.
Just drove past a church with a sign near it that said, "God wants to be your daddy."
why isn't there a fb relationship option that says 'still banging my ex'
I just got a drinking merit badge from a slutty girl scout
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
On a scale of one to trashy, how is this: Got drunk, gave a guy a hand job. In the middle of the bar
I think you broke the trashy scale
We have a drunken confused pantless man in our apt. Boots.
Sometimes you get drunk and fall out of a car. I never said it was glamorous.
i need to stop celebrating other people's birthdays like they are m own.. my body can't handle a birthday every week
My synapses wont fire in a pattern that will process those facts
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Next time I think buying tan-thru bikinis is a good idea, remind me of that time I passed out in one and burned the epic shit out of my pussy.
When was that?
Yesterday. Bring aloe. For my pussy.
Good. Sleepy. In the middle of a pregnancy scare. The usual.
I'm alittle affraid you might be dead, seeing how your work party is in an hour and you haven't answered me? I mean I'm picturing you 1. Passed out in your car covered in fries or 2. On a boat in a box to Mexico covered in coke. Please let it be number 1. And aren't we going to your work party?
I'm all dressed in my outfit from last night, and I'm not even the sluttiest person in Walmart right now. God bless Miami.
We almost got stabbed in the nuts last night. Don't worry, we're alright.
i just woke up, first off why is there pineapple everywhere and who's underwear is on my ceiling fan ?
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