Don't really want to talk about it. You were right. She had a whole jar of toenail clippings on her nightstand that she chews on "when her fingernails are too short." Direct quote.
He got so drunk that he tried hitting on a girl using nothing but his Samuel L. Jackson soundboard application on his Iphone
How many times a week can a couple have a threesome with the same guy before it becomes some sort of 3-way relationship?
Everyone agrees they like your mother better drunk
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Some kid just walked into class with his schedlue written on a keystone box.
I know now the amount of smoke it takes to set off the fire alarm....no longer worried about using the bong...not even close
Theres was an instant understanding between us being drunk on the trampoline at four in the morning and the people walking down the road at the same time
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i loe djcudia fjxos rue.
I have a gash on my leg an a lobster leg in my purse.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Look, I said I'm sorry. In the shower, "are you happy to see me" sounded just like "could you please pee on me". Honest mistake.
But seriously he was like a god with his hands. My vagina feels annointed.
Also he wants to know a casual, consise way to ask a girl in a bar if he could eat her out. Think on that.
I'm just gonna get real fat and join the circus.
I swear, when I turn 21 in four months, I'm going to carry a flask around with me, and make a drinking game out of everything.
u woke up and asked who took ur pants off then realized u did n almost cried over not gettin layed
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