ok plan lets look hot and dance like whores.
Apparently my gaydar only works on americans. Frenchie capris has two topless chicks in our kitchen making him breakfast.
She used the introduce me to her roommates so she could find out my name trick the next morning..I may be in love.
We shall study the pictures later and see if his penis is worth my time.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
It was kinda hard to explain to his wife why there was chocolate syrup on the ceiling.
We stared down the barrel of pure insanity, took more and the electric elephant god rewarded our fearlessness by giving me golden skulls and naked women crawling out of the walls. I love acid
Am I really in your phone as Asshole Jesus??
This family outing has commenced with me throwing up in an apple orchard
Well I'll be shitfaced all day the 4th in honor of this great nation... but I'm down for drunken camping/nature fucking on the 5th
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Thanks for bringing me tea/a bucket. You have earned yourself a face touch.
I can't ever look his wife in the eye again. She will see right through my soul to his dick pic.
I know but we're going to blackout city so it'll probably be warm there
Also, McDonald's breakfast is now 24/7. This is it. This is how I die. Face first in a pile of hashbrowns.
Just because your drunk doesn't mean you can stick your dick in the snow. Just a FYI
Should I put the spider I likely swallowed in my sleep into my calorie tracker?
Randomize