im pretty sure i just saw someone trying to catch a fish with his penis
I just puked in an auto zone parking lot. I'm never eating peanut butter and red wine for dinner again.
He walked in AS I was cumming. Now even my father knows I'm a squirter.
Oh no it's bring yor chld to work day...I'm too drunk for this
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sorry i was making out with matt didn't mean for it to sound like that. there was no tone
there should be a new saying, don't text and tongue
bad decision saturdays are such a good decision
That just sounds like a recipe for sex in my backyard. Yes.
I had to break up with him he didn't understand my priorities. I'm sorry but Saturday nights are for pot and Doctor Who. I'm not going to change who I am.
I found him in his pink and white boxer out side the dorm hall and the only thing he said was "it wouldn't let me in"
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NATIONAL GIVE A BOSTON COP A BLOW JOB BITCH ROAD TRIP NOW
He said the pain stops when I get my shit together and stop being a drugged out alcoholic mess. Could have just said no.
I did however clean up the cupcakes and vomit so I'm not that bad of a roommate
I feel bad for her. If you sacrifice and have a chubby husband I feel that you assume he's not going to cheat on you....
my one night stand just gave me money "to buy a better vibrator" tis the season
I knew the bike rally would be fun when I saw "male pole dancing" on the schedule
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