it felt like the flash was giving me a handjob
running late. just ran over a dude on a bike
She accidentally pre-ordered us Dominos for the next day at 11:30am... we were very confused when we woke up.
I bought a fake diamond ring to wear, not only to bars to keep the creeps away, but so that I'll be judged less by the front desk girl at Planned Parenthood
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I'm just high and in my robe and I would suck a dick for some pizza rolls. I can't talk about your problems right now
Just made nicotine water. Ithink i'm having a heart attack.
he said good things come in small packages and I decided to hook up with someone else
i just want to be sober by dinner like is that too much to ask
I feel as if we moved beyond the hook up stage when she blew me as I drunkenly finished my chicken nuggets.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
This girl just said she was late for class because she was having sex.
He was smart enough to bring a condom to our study date so I mean I'm sure he'll do fine on the test
I think you handled your pregnancy scares better than that cricket in your bathroom
Btw, remind me to tell you about how I had to cancel my crazy wild sex plans with Will b/c my roommate came back from his trip after a day b/c Canada wouldn't let him in. Fucking cockblock.
Actually that's the whole story. You don't have to remind me.
Bruh, I wanna absorb into the deck.
I wanna become a plank.
God I love xanex.
The adults are the big ones right?
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