haha you were like: "I don't want to uh pressure you.." as you took your own shirt off
We just made mixed drinks in the bathroom of burger king. This is sad.
are you looking for your table cloth? Cause I found it around my neck this morning...
you kept shouting how the only tree you would hump is an elm tree because they're under populated
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I walk in and my mom takes one look at me and just says, ".... Consequences"
Dude, if she brings up the lube, you know nothing
Its funny that cleaning up pieces of water balloons and shot glasses every morning is becoming a routine
Slept in my car last night. It snowed. I peed on the street. Hello 29...
I got really high and googled the history of Amish people for like an hour.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
She's dressed as a slutty goth schoolgirl. Those are my three favorite things. God himself could not give me whiskey dick.
He told me that his favorite part about me is hearing my voice while we fuck. I think that was the nicest thing he has EVER said to me.
Was she always missing a tooth or am I just now noticing it?
Also I just took Ritalin with coffee so if anyone wants to know what numbers sound like, I got you
You would be proud of me, I did not take a dab at work today.
His penis is average but his stamina is amazing!!! I didn’t know I had that many orgasms in my body!!!!
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