i did the 'picked up item' thing from zelda when i jizzed on her face
so you're single again?
yea but it was worth it
the sex wasnt even worth changing my sheets
We made a drinking game out of poaching eggs. When did our life turn into a really awesome version of Top Chef?
i just saw a guiness commercial where the guiness was on the verge of spilling the whole time. i was on the edge of my seat scared shitless. im an alcoholic.
Having him eat chocolate out of you is not as romantic as it sounds. I'm still finding pieces.
Just getting around to doing laundry. Jesus there's a lot of blood on my birthday dress.
I mean, I'd wanted to go skinny dipping, hook up with him and have sex on a beach, so last night I basically killed 3 birds with one super slutty stone.
It's not my fault. Someone keeps buying me tequila shots. Idk who. But every time I look down there's another. I think there's a conspiracy.
there's a strong possibility i came on your eyeliner last night bathroom sex was unplanned and rather messy sorry
I worked so hard to shave everything last night. EVERYTHING. He WILL be answering my phone calls. Otherwise he's passing up awesome random birthday sex.
My phone just autocorrected 'vagina' to 'vaginihilation'...when exactly did I need to convey total annihilation by lady parts??
It's okay. I've dumbed down my notes over the semester because I knew I wouldn't be up to understanding things come finals.
Im gonna get home and destroy this bag of chicken nuggets with my soul.
Being sober is boring. Tomorrow I'm def bringing wine and my vibrator to work. Might even booty call that hot guy on floor 5. Making the last week at this job legendary.
Never thought an ATM max withdrawal could be such a good thing...
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