This girl is very crazy
She's one of those compassionate ppl
So everything I said on this seemingly endless date offended her
we have pet lesbian snakes
I woke up naked by my window. blinds open. smiley face drawn on my window.
My mom just told me to drench my entire body in vodka for 20 minutes. I have never been this russian. no one has ever been this russian
we banged on the home plate. i wasnt even aware of the significance of where we were until afterwards hahaha
you passed out on the bathroom floor with the door locked. we had to break in and no one was sober enough to move you so they just threw a towel on you and stepped over you
Homecoming wouldn't be the same without all the drunk old people puking on the street.
We already established this. No, he did not cum on the dog.
My Grampa even called her out for being a cock block at the bar...it was that serious
I AM SENDING THIS TEXT MESSAGE SO I DON'T LOOK AT HIM. THANK YOU FOR RECEIVING IT.
We see some guy emerge from the forest on the island this morning, alone, in only a snuggie. Morning shots and bagels on us for the number one walk of shame.
Didn't know hookah bars could end badly. I feel for her hair
I faked an orgasm during phone sex last night. This relationship is starting to become real.
I mean he did ask and he said it's cold out but i didn't realize we were that comfortable hahaha sex is one thing but borrowing a sweatshirt?
Locking that text forever.
Why is there an inflatable flamingo in the backseat of my car?
Randomize
