It smells like weed.
We are in Boulder, Everything smells like weed.
he told me not be awkward when his girlfriend comes tomorrow. and then he made out with me
I just offered a homeless man a meal from McDonald's, and he replied "I don't eat McDonald's food". That is the epitome of "begger's can't be choosers."
Mustard is by no means a replacement for yellow wall paint
despite contrary belief, getting peanut butter off your balls is not as easy as it sounds
They were lying down in the parking garage pretending to be speed bumps...
Did I ever tell u about how my buddy fucked peter coors's daughter and made a tshirt that said I TAPPED THE ROCKIES with her picture on it?
I feel like I should lick our pitcher just so everyone knows its ours
I sang Jenna happy bday in the middle of throw up hurls
Hurricane Sex Time is the only thing iv said since it started.
bad night - i tried for naughty librarian but could only manage to pull off pissed off barrista.
Just got gas in my car for the first time while high. Went better than expected.
First sex of the summer I'm winning 1-0
GET HOME NOW
Oh shit
I'm glad you don't care about kids. That's one of your better qualities.
if wiping your ass w an envelope isnt the definition of hitting "financial rock bottom " then nothing is!
Randomize
