im pretty sure that there was a mint leaf in my poop this morning. i love mojito season.
Think I'm gonna go cougar hunting tonight... Any advice?
condoms and good judgment
Can I buy both of those at the same store?
strike ten. I need to stop drinkng
after I pulled back my foreskin she said, "cool like a transformer". I really like her now.
I fell asleep to the sounds of them banging in the next room. It was oddly soothing...
Ikeep having to ask jim if I'm actually talking. I canmt feel my body...this is what Christmas is all about
I'm really proud of myself for not blacking out yet this weekend!
It's a Thursday.
He just took a bite of each taco bell burrito and hid them throughout my apartment. this was 2 weeks ago and have found 30 burritos so far
I just gave a bum a ride back to his bench. Columbus is weird but I like it.
Everyone is speaking Spanish and this 300 hundred pound chick is talking about the time she got out of prison... Fuck this place
Am I a bad person for getting my ex to DD me and a random hookup home last night?
Like will they card me for my own whiskey in shampoo bottles?
I just want to bone him one last time before he moves across the country with his new (average looking) girl friend.
I guess it's part of life. Sometimes your ex boyfriend becomes a drag queen.
I will bring Jesus to court if he punishes me for that
Randomize
