Just tried calling my phone on my phone because i thought i lost my phone.
his penis looked like arnold from hey arnold. it was interesting.
I didn't cheat on him. Cheating means finding out. I made sure he was at work first. After the guy left I got shitfaced just so nothing seemed out of the ordinary when he came home.
i stapled my math hw together with an ear ring, too ghetto?
I wonder if he just picks random boners to send or just the realy impressive ones
i dont know what to do
with your life?
no, with my silly bandz, im already wearing 3
Bruises. Everywhere. Table sex is dangerous
If we could never, ever tell mike i pissed in his closet, that would be really really great
I can't figure out how to get this beer bong in my carry on without airport security questioning me as it goes through the x-ray.
come help me. im curled up in the fetal position on the upper floor of the lib. please bring more caffeine or alcohol
its ok. its hell week the lib is a no judgment zone right now
Almost there.
define "almost". like I have enough time to watch a youtube video or oh shit, put on some goddamn pants because they're in the driveway.
Your biggest crisis right now is that you can't decide whether to keep hooking up with AN NFL PLAYER or try to rekindle your relationship with your ex. You are a walking white girl problem.
I miss the days where our biggest worries were who was gonna win battle shits.
Named all the presidents in order between puke sessions while semi conscious so that's a thing I can do now
Remember the time you cried about coconuts
Randomize
