i was so high i thought his mole came off and was flying around
i wish my apartment had room service that i didn't have to pay for.
We have sex, then we talk about foreign policy. Its a win-win.
I don't give a damn about what he wants to do with his life. Personalities are for pussies.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Since you're going to wake up and see one bajillion missed calls from me, I just want you to know that's a perfectly reasonable number. Now come downystairs.
I'm dressed as a caveman and drunk so that's not really an option
Played never have I ever with high schoolers today. Needless to say they brought up threesomes so I had to make a judgement call and decided to not put my finger down
I'm way too hungover for life right now
this weekend took five years off my life and what was left of my dignity
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
You're either getting fucked or a coupon to Friendly's. I haven't decided yet.
Feel weird saying this on Facebook, but a dildo collecting demigod sounds like somebody I'd at least hang with for a minute.
Not my fault the fence refused to just break when I ran into it.
Once the overwhelming "oh god my crotch is on fire" wears off, that excite stuff is really nice
I think every girl deserves a pregnancy scare. Because then it just feels like such a priviledge to be bleeding out of the vagina.
I legit just did a jig towards my box of tampons.
I could have sworn that I went home last night... but judging from the couch I just woke up on, apparently not.
Randomize