Ugh I just know that when I take off his pants his underwear will have Megan's Law written all over them.
Update: no underwear. Greeeeen light.
the red, white, and blue power rangers were all also in the porn buisness, good bye childhood
You ordered a "mcblizzard" and yelled @ the worker for false advertisement because she didn't flip your "mcblizzard" upsidedown. You wanted it free. I'd say mcdonalds daytime workers need to be trained in dealing with daytime drunks too. She didn't know what to do.
you have no idea how wierd it is to get nudes while talking to grandma
Remind me if I threw up on you last night or if that was just a dream.
Notice: I will be intoxicated and in your area this evening. To unsubscribe from my sexual solicitation list, reply 'fuck off'.
he told her he was actually impressed that she had fucked more people in this house than the four dudes living in it.
That girl is nothing but trouble. She's 40% red hair and 60% daddy issues.
I got hammered with my chem professor at 4:30. I'm pretty sure that can't be topped by any real sort of institution.
Less than a month to graduation and I'm still blacking out on the reg tonguing down the closest breathing organism preferably with a penis but I'm flexible, and still havent figured out how to be functional on Fridays. WHY don't they teach us valuable shit at this institution!?
Best feedback on my performance so far: "There are things that can't be unseen."
I did it on acid. I can cook bacon on any condition
Oh great. I guess I'm second on that list now that we've confirmed she's not a lesbian AND that was her sister.
So I'm already mostly naked in a kind of bed but obviously too lazy to take my boots off. It's like January 1st is already here
he's not even weird he's been offering me different drinks all night
oh i remember now hes the guy that liked when i peed on him
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