I attract so much trash. The guy that is engaged and kissed me is here so is his fiancé. I feel likeshw knows and will cut me in the bathroom might happen. If I'm not at the pool tomorrow she has blonde hair and is really flat.
just bought miller high life, hungry man dinners, and a bottle of lube. you win life, you win.
If it makes you feel better, you're better at taking it in than ass than she is...
Well...yeah actually, that does make me feel better
I'm a gentlemen, chivalry is what i do, i'll open the door, pull out your chair, buy your drinks, i'll even go down first, but when it comes to mario kart, i draw the line. I'm sorry but i just can't let you beat me at mario kart
Just a heads up: The party is Fourth of July themed. Spread the word
dude its may
Work with me here, man.
Its like they don't get that I only talk to them before homecoming, thanksgiving, or any other time I go home. I love highschool girls.
The pet store wouldn't sell us fish because they said they could tell we were drunk.
I can feel his 12 year old sister"s eyes barreling into my soul everytime I'm at there house..some how she knows I'm cheating on her brother or she's mad cause I stole her shirt.
I don't mean to complain but you could have done a better job of keeping me alive last night
My philosophy is thug life and that means never having to say your sorry for stealing drinks off tables
I don't want sex or anything I just really need someone to appreciate how shiny my hair is
you were angry and didn't have anything else to throw so you threw a breakfast burrito...?
We fucked to Bonnie Tyler in my car. He's the one.
Definitely woke up.this morning to a random girls head in my toilet and her mom knocking on my door.
if I hear Wonderful Christmastime one more time I'm putting my foot up Paul McCartney's ass.
Randomize
