I don't know which is more embarrassing, the fact that I shat on the floor today or that I told you about it.
So is chris hansen cool in person? Or is it just awkward while you wait for the cops?
what is college for if not random hookup sex?
learning.
i would literally fuck learning if i could.
I drunkenly asked a stripper to join our volleyball team.
I like to think of it as a lesbian feast.
Its what happens when I drink whiskey in a sweater. It makes me feel mature and ponderful.
I passed out with my wizard stick taped to my hands and got woken up being poked with a St. Bernard
Well be careful man. Be careful. Wear shoes in the house. Safety. Safety first, then teamwork.
I just got head while watching air force one. Harrison ford would be proud.
You just get me....like our souls are boning in the spirit world
Me and Jason had to grab your legs and arms and drag you in the house. You kept screaming "leave me for dead"
Okay, so when I go to meet your grandma, let's do a quick cum check to we don't have another "what's that on your face?" situation.
is telling someone you can be his trophy wife the same as proposing?
You hear the wildest shit in a Walmart bathroom.
Dude I can't beleive you didn't wake up. I literally f'd her IN THE DISHWASHER. Btw I'm pretty sure I also kinda broke the dishwasher.
Randomize
