don't thank me. stop putting your penis in foreign objects.
i asked a few people if they wanted to make pancakes with me but no one would. thats why i'm drunk by myself right now
Thanks for not stopping me when I decided to call my mom at 2 in the morning to ask her where I was born
Oh I forgot to tell u. I hit someone with my car in the RiteAid parking lot. More like a nudge.
We're celebrating his weight gain and arrest.and by we I mean I, and by celebrating I mean getting dangerously drunk
the boys love us. they call us "the stoner girl suite down the hall". not very inspired, but flattering nonetheless
This is a rough morning for me
No, rough is puking in your froyo cup next to a five year old and her grandma.
Shirtless guy staggering down the sidewalk, puking into a Prada shopping bag. Ahhh, the walk of shame in Boystown.
Young lesbians are the worst. And also what got me through high school, sooooo
guys with girlfriends don't have a leg to stand on when they get mad at you for fucking other guys
Is it weird that I'm looking up pubic hairstyles?
Nothing like the judgmental looks you get in the bathroom when you still have last night's glowsticks on
just played fuck the dealer and thunderstruck with my physics ta. he is the third ta that i have drank with this semester, i think i'm getting good at college
I'm just bringing him "breakfast," and breakfast may lead to lunch and dinner, but that doesn't mean I want the mealplan.
I had a dream that I was smoking rasberries out of a bong. THEY WEREN'T EVEN DRIED...
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