what's the vibe there?
extraordinary amounts of gine
Who would have guessed that ordering a vodka lemonade at Roscoe's was code for I want a hand job
Why are handjobs necessary in class?
WE WERE REALLY IN A PORNO LAST NIGHT
but i have a bet that her boyfriend is going to try and deflower her tonight so i better get a move on if i want to videotape it
Oh my god. Just had sex with this girl on the boardroom table at my work at midnight (win!) just realized I left the condom wrapper on the table (lose!)
You wouldn't know anything about the tooth on ice in my freezer would you?
I feel like I'm in an ocean of eels jacking me off
I was just hoping for a dick worthy of his established age.
He straight up just had me drive all the way here and when I got here he was drinking a cup of tea and right after said he needed to go to bed
You need to stop thinking about the needs of your vagina and concentrate on the greater good
And then she said "wanna make a vine of me twerking on the wall?"
I was weirded out when the chunky goth girl and her boyfriend both started eyeing me and wanted to by me a drink.
I enjoy the level of friendship we have achieved until you ask me to determine what may or may not be gentile warts via iphone pic
btw...it's noon and i'm sitting here drinking wine and eating pixie stix. I really need to find something to do...
Randomize
