Just figured out how to smoke weed with a toaster.
Dude, 1 prime defect in the snuggie- you can't fuck someone discreetly under a snuggie. No way no how
I am going to be the most sexually active ladybug that he has ever seen
I just made a moltov cocktail out of lubricant and a christmas bulb. The fire is still going strong. MERRY CHRISTMAS
his blackberry tasks were 1. take names and 2. kick ass
I just wanted to let you know I just licked gravy off of my boobs. Just putting that out there.
We're past the whole "Did she just try to finger my ass?" Stage. Now it's encouraged.
I am omw to AA Fellowship by the sea w Jenny and a stripper who just paid for our jetski with 85 $1 bills
at least you know where his tattoos end, so it wasn't a complete waste of time.
There are very few times i will succumb to laying naked on my bathroom floor. But lastnight is a resonable enough cause.
this speak and spell drinking game will be the death of us all.
Sad Megan is Sad
Have you been drinking my beer?
Your feet probs hurt bc the cab driver kicked us out a mile from home after you wouldn't stop screaming "prohibition can suck my dick"
I can't believe I haven't fucked an Elvis impersonator yet.
she gave me a ride on the back of her motor scooter and i swooned so hard
omg it's like all of your grease 2 fantasies come true i'm so happy for you
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