you want to go make fun of the strippers on try out night
i got kicked out last time for laughing
I dated that bitch for 9 months and didnt get as much as a hand job. I met her sister last night for the first time and smashed that...twice
I respect that
The sign in front of ihop says "designated drivers get half off their order"
No, the sea-green pills were klonopin, the bright blue ones are adderall. you're probably going to have to adjust your plans for the day.
Theres been so much buildup for our genitals to meet, one or both of us is sure to be disappointed.
She alternated between blowing me and feeding me bites of the sandwich she made for me.
I just puked behind a tree outside work, then walked past my manager with puke in my hair. Man, I'm gonna miss this when I get a real job.
There it is. Caramel-coated dick. Someone is getting a yeast infection later.
So you're not gonna be in town tonight?! Your dick was the light at the end of my academic tunnel!
He kept spinning my wedding ring like thanks buddy I remember
he told me his feelings for me AFTER sex, so that means he meant it right?
The one time I decide to bring people over you are laying naked on the coffee table watching the ceiling fan cause "it just moves so fast" I'm guessing you got paid today??
RESPOND QUICKLY THIS IS AN EMERGENCY!!! LITERALLY AN 11 INCH DICK!!!!! HELP.
I didn't expect the hobit to have that much sexual tension.
Why do so many fanfic writers want to see hockey players get pregnant?
Randomize
