happiness is walking an amphibious rodent on a leash
dude, i have to cancel tonight, my neighbor just bought a goat
It's amazing how much better one feels once you put something in your vagina.
You were doing downward dog and puking off my deck at the same time.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
just shottied a beer can with a pumpkin carver. i love October.
Yeah I think we tried to use the shower curtain as a parachute because its tied to my backpack with some string. Dont know if anyone actually attempted it though.
Totally just met the chick getting nailed in our lobby last night. Should I bring it up?
That girl is nothing but trouble. She's 40% red hair and 60% daddy issues.
Discovered that a nalgene holds an entire bottle of wine. Going mobile. Come find me.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I drink to make the karaoke go away.
Master Skywalker, there are too many of them. What am I going to do?
Hit on the one in the red shorts. The thirst is strong with this one.
Walking into class right now and I swear to god I smoked down the substitute teacher we have at a party I went to last week
I almost had sex in a public restroom last night in case you're wondering how much of a mess 22 is for me
So I fucked a guy with his mouth wired shut last night never thought id cross that off my imaginary bucket list
Just got my second shot
Baller. We’re going to be knee deep in strippers and coke in 10 days
Randomize