If you could channel this insane talent for stalking you'd be a great weapon for this country. If you had a crush on Bin Ladin, guaranteed he'd be found, monitered and tagged within five days.
He never called back after I emailed him my booty call contract.
What can i say, inner beauty is great but it makes a hard picture to jack off to
My present? It was a fake boarding pass he made in Photoshop. He litterally just gave me a one way ticket to Pound Town
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
i think the beer goggles wore off after hearing the story of her 2nd abortion
Also I stopped in the middle of the road and put my hazards on because BUNNIES WERE PLAYING
It was at the same house, but a different party, when lesbians set me on fire. So there's that.
Maybe she'll change her mind but the "go fuck yourself" doesn't seem promising
In other news, I just sent her a video of me masturbating while driving in the rain, so I guess you could say I've mastered Snapchat
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
On my way to return shoes I bought so that I can afford to buy a pregnancy test. Is this adulthood?
I can't wait to get to LA so I can punch her in the face
Sorry I banged your sister. But in my defense you ain't fucked me in a month. In fact I should get a medal for keeping it in your family.
within five minutes of being here her dog found my vibrator in my bedroom and was carrying it around all proud! and her mom is here. so embarrassing :(
Made out with sailor moon tonight. Childhood dreams do come true.
Reminder to self: never have sex on a trampoline. Trampoline burn hurts worse than carpet burn.
Randomize