turns out gay frats are just like normal frats, only with more v-necks
You know its a good sign when a girl asks who everyone is AFTER she flashes her tits to the room.
Look you found him on craigslist. You should be happy that he at least HAS a normal looking dick.
She can't meet us until 830...there's no hope for our sobriety at that hour
you haven't really lived until you are in a situation where your vagina is hanging out
If you're ever desperate for a guy's #, ask him to call your lost cell phone so you can find it. Some genius used that on me last night. FML
You can't just beat off while driving someone else's car. Thats a rule
Thats your rule and this car is nice
So I'm dropping a fat deuce at work, and the lock on the stall door slips and the door slides open, when suddenly someone comes in. Now I have two options, I can either get up quickly and try to shut the door quickly (not easy to do with one hand) or I can just sit there and play it off like it's no big deal and I always dump at work with the door open. I chose option two, and it was as awkward as it sounds.
I'm not letting you use my bathroom unsupervised anymore. You peed in the sink thinking it was a urinal...
We drank vodka and koolaid through a traffic cone. It got rowdy.
He's like a Lana del Rey song that took human form
This German chick looked me up and down for a while. Then she grabbed my crotch, let go after a few seconds, and said "you vill do". I think I'm gonna like tonight.
Instead of asking him how many women he's slept with I just got straight to the point and asked how many Plan B pills he's purchased
Also, what day were you thinkin we should trip balls at the children's museum?
you do realize the next step is naked mud wrestling, right?
Randomize
