Yes because finding a guy to give head to is pretty difficult.
I mean not really
Obviously that's why it was a joke you are so stupid it's impossible.
Can you return condoms to CVS?
Only if you return your pride as well.
I just saw a homeless guy on rollerblades; I don't think I've ever felt sorrier for someone in my life.
New first...just saw an entire family of homeless hitch hikers...kids and all. God, i love Oklahoma!
I passed out leaning next to a light pole. When the cop woke me up at 4 AM, I told him I was a block away from the apt, just had to stop to make a puke pit stop.
He started to notice that i sleep with every girl he calls dibs on.
SURVIVED FINALS. CAN'T DIE FROM ALCOHOL POISONING. NOTHER SHOT. CAPS.
Im blasting "Fat Bottom Girls" as loud as humanely possible in attempts that old ladies doing water aerobics will take the hint and get the fuck out of the pool.
What's life without a lamp shade you wore home?
I'm basically a mama hen. I keep them warm and let them wonder around the house. not to mention, I keep eye on them just in case the falcons around the house try to snatch them away.
I don't even know what to say right now
Thanks for the Beyonce article. In other news, I just passed a man with the state of Florida tattooed on his face.
I would use the term shit faced but I'm too polite for that
I had to ask him for a dick pic. Do you know how refreshing that was?
Apparently my thong was thrown in the cornfield last night. No one will tell me why.
So, I ran into Garrett last night in the laundry room.
Oh really? First post break-up run in. How'd it go? Awkward?
Um. We had sex on a washing machine.
Randomize
