I'm not unpopping my collar. This shirt is too expensive to crease.
the chick doesn't look like she's put anything in her mouth for weeks other than his dick.
yeah, but that could mean anything in Denmark.
I know im too high when i think porn has an interesting story line.
His hospital is closing...I consider it "sorry you're losing your job" sex.
I just saw her punch a kid in the face.. i always knew she was the girl for me.
I couldn't accept the bj. My penis has done nothing wrong and didn't deserve the punishment of her face.
Sunday was the 8 month anniversary when you shot me in the face...just an FYI.
Should i put up a tasteful banner for your party that says last chance to sleep with maya?
Our innocent game of 'Duck, duck, booze.' ended up not being so innocent
All I remember is passing out with an umbrella over my head and waking up screaming bad luck for seven years
Well be careful man. Be careful. Wear shoes in the house. Safety. Safety first, then teamwork.
The bar tenders gave me the number for a "taxi"... It's just a dude with a van. In retrospect, pretty sketchy. Robert was cool though.
he looked at me and said 'happiness is a warm blanket' then stole my vodka.
There were 7 of us cowering in the kitchen because you were swinging a giant, pink double headed dildo around like a nunchuk and hitting anyone who came near you with it.
Randomize
