Can Purell be used as lube?
i just shit 3 out of the 4 types of matter
apparently went to arby's at 2:30am banging on the windows for someone to make me a "beefy"
Am I a whore if I make out with a boy just so michelle can't?
after he handcuffed me and put me in the back seat, "Mrs. Officer" started playing, I thought maybe this could be my escape
She is definitely tripolar. Like bipolar but better/worse.
It was cool in an 'oh shit I'm gonna get arrested' way.
He said he would pay my bar tab if he couldn't answer my question. He lost to the age old question of our youth. Why did pogs go out of style.
This guy is walking around with a deer head on. Honestly what the fuck
Sleeping in a car was not on my list of plans for the night.
She asked how many sexual partners I'd had and I was like "Honestly I don't even know". And then she said "well last time you said 8." And my inner monologue busted out laughing and I was like "Oh I'd say like 11 or 12.....plus 20."
Dude fuck drugs. It's 4am and I'm eating mushroom ravioli fantasizing about jumping on a trampoline
Which one of you drunk assholes put a parental lock on my cable box last night? More importantly, what's the pin? I'm missing the UK game.
Hope you’re getting action boo.
Definitely no. I woke up next to a bag of McDonald's.
U wanna come over and watch talidaga nights. Ill make pancakes
What? It's 130 in the morning.
Aww come on i make bomb ass pancakes
Randomize
