Please explain to me why I only attract Mormon guys. Just explain that to me.
I think it's God trying to counter your lustful nature. Imagine if Agnostics liked you. You'd never come out of your bedroom.
How do you wash franks red hot sauce, whip cream, grapejuice and shame out of silk?
I would just throw it away. You cant just wash out shame, it has to soak for like a month.
miscarriage! now THATS a gift from god.
Just saw a girl in a wheelchair puke then rally. Diversity matters.
Oh my god it just tripped me out that I used to be a baby, I had to tell you.
Gym?
Sweet baby Jebus, no. I'm Motley Crue hungover. This must be how it feels to rail a line of ants.
I don't know what to say to that. All I know is my vagina is trying to jump through the phone.
His pillow talk sucks. It was like Mr. Roger's vagina.
I can't tell if I have the Pizza Hut shits or beer shits
You seriously knocked all the beer off the table, broke the beer pong table, broke the bar and kept yelling "you have to warn me first!" all because I wouldn't let you have another four loco
i think my cat just said my name.
YO CONGRATULATIONS ON YOUR MÉNAGE À TROIS. YOU GO, GLENN COCO
So I got cockblocked by our relationship status last night
Scary. I hope people take me seriously. Maybe I should black out less to be sure
my favorite part was when you kept waving @ that guy and insisiting it was your cousin..and it wasnt and wondering why he wasnt waving back lol you were legit PISSED
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