Getting drunk in a different country is not a good idea. Lets just say spanish women, 17 yr olds from missouri, prostitutes, and a poodle. I don´t want to leave spain.
we did anal to Party In The USA and he busted to Firefies .. felt like we were fucking in a middle school dance
She challenged me to a game of rock-paper-scissors for her virginity. I love this girl.
Well he asked to have a sober hang out so i guess that constitutes as a date in college
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
well seeing as i got a call at 5 am from the hotel manager telling me my cousin was passed out on the lobby floor...not good
is it bad that I didn't wash the cum out of my hair because it keeps my curls intact?
and then he started using my ass as a stressball
He said he was gonna go pull a lochte and the next thing we know he's outside ass naked peeing in the neighbors kiddie pool.
Was that you I seen riding on the top of a cab? Way to start the new year
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I'm going to start referring to my liver is Livy. I feel like if I give it an affectionate nickname it will hate me less. Livy isn't ready for syllabus week.
I think we all know your liver needs a man's name.
I'm working on a search warrant...can u pick up box of Chardonnay...I'll give u cash when u get here...
Yea... I love that ur a prosecutor and drink box wine
He is getting married. In the time it took for this conversation he probably cheated on her three times
Somewhere out there, on several phones belonging to strangers, exists a video of me rapping Baby Got Back on stage in four inch heels that I stole from the drag queen. Also I made out with the chick with the octopus tattoo.
You have the best birthdays
maybe i should limp back to therapy...
oh yeah will you also bring home vodka i wanna do shots on the roof
You fell while talking to a cop, then proceeded to acuse him of tripping you... he was arresting you for public intox.
Randomize