He still wants to giggity, regardless of his girlfriend. So...I guess I'm happy again.
My last google search was "mavis beacon techs tping" Thank god google auto corrects bc otherwise i wouldn't know that i drunk-type 13 words a minute.
The door to door salesmen do not expect you to be drunk at 3 in the afternoon
This is working out surprisingly well considering it started out with us using a christmas tree as a battering ram
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
How long is a courtesy make out supposed to last??
You beat him at the shot competition, and proceeded to rub it in while telling everyone to "ASK ME A MATH QUESTION!!!"
I have a boner and a quesadilla why aren't you here
Well if you're drunk enough to make some mistakes this week I'd be down to redeem myself for my poor performance.
Also they do not have any come back to america, i miss my fuck buddy cards at Hallmark.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
At what point did you realize I was getting blown under the table during our dominos game?
I'll be in SoCal at my bachelorette party, aka embracing a fireman covered in KY and chocolate shavings.
The shrooms have turned on carrie. Change of plans. We're getting stoned and finding bacon.
Better not shit yourself at the gym.
Can u pick me up? Lost my keys.
Sure. FYI- you "lost" them on the roof, trying to throw them over the house.
it was like where's waldo, only the stakes were much higher.
Randomize