Is it sad that I'm on the stopduiaz.com website and there is a cute boy but it will never work between us because hes in jail for 17.5 years?
Um.. is it mean if I say yes?
How would my first penpal letter even go? "Hey saw you on stopduiaz.com, sucks you killed that motorcyclist. Whats your favorite thing to do on the weekend?"
We fucked twice, I went to the bathroom to freshen up, and came back to him playing "Your Body is A Wonderland" on his guitar naked in my bed.
The crazy thing is, I dont actually know where the cat is, she said something bout the back of the toilet and a sock.
I'm bringing in a picture of a stranger on facebook to get my haircut. I have reached a new level of creepy.
just tripped. bootyfest 2012 will be my engagement party. i saw the whole future. i'm moving to the beach.
Can you send me the video of that girl that got arrested last night? I'm gonna try and hit that and I need something to break the ice with.
Remember that pineapple I soaked in vodka last month? Just found it- nothing is growing on it? Think it's safe?
Hope you don't mind if I never tell my family about you.
Nothing says "future AA member" like bonging 40's out of a plastic flamingo.
As if I wouldn't steal Nintendo brand "Mario is my HOMEBOY!" boxers when he gave me the entire drawer to choose from.
Whip out the absinthe and the taquitos, this motherfucker just passed the bar.
I'm discussing Magic Mike with my mom and totally get why she thinks I'm gay.
lol I'll trade you jello for a tampon
what a trade!
the staff put glowsticks in the urinals of the porta-pottys last night and honestly drunk me has never been more grateful for anything in his life
I'm going to draw something on my chest and I need to incorporate my nipples. Any ideas?
Randomize
